It’s been a few months since we announced our excitement over wanting to start the adoption process. I think the “normal thing” to do is to announce that you are going to start the adoption process once you get through the home study. In true fashion of never doing the “normal” thing we announced that we were adopting before we even picked an agency. We did this because we wanted other people who had been through the adoption process to share their wisdom with us so that we could learn from their experiences through every step of our process. In turn we wanted to share all the wisdom given to us about the adoption process & the wisdom that we learned from our own experiences along the way with you guys. We had set up an email account for everyone who wanted to to send an email with their advice for us. Here are a few of the tips that have helped us & that really stood out to us to share with you. Want to help us and others? Add your tips to the comment section here or find us on Instagram to share it. Here are a few of the tips that we hope truly help you…
- Consider Agency’s Philosophy & make sure it matches your beliefs.
- Attend meetings from multiple agencies to make sure your final pick is perfect for you and your family.
- Ask how many placements the agency makes a year.
- Ask how many waiting families the agency has & do they have a capacity set in place.
- Seek counseling during the first stages of adoptions… don’t just wait until after a baby is placed.
- Ask your agency for all the resources you can get to research the type of adoption you are pursuing.
- Read The Connected Child and/or Orphanology
- Find Local Support groups from Facebook
- Choose home study wisely. If completed through an agency, you may not own the home study to be used with other agencies or in private.
- Cost of adoption varies from agency to agency, state to state research this before jumping in.
- Ask people you know the pro’s and con’s of the agency they used & the process they experienced.
- Be sure to have open discussions through the whole adoption process so you are always on the same page.
- ONE FROM US: Do not be scared of the home study process. To us it has been quick and painless… We have always been told how horrible it was, but if you choose the right agency that fits your family & your desire to adopt is as big as ours, it’s not that bad & worth all the work you put into it! I was always scared for the home study & wondered if we would “pass”… Right away our agency said they wanted “real” not “perfect” and it’s true… they want to see where you live and how you live. None of us are perfect & they know that. It’s honestly the least scary/stressful part of the whole thing.. I regret ever being worried about it! Hope that eases some of your worries as well!
We hope to keep sharing all the wonderful tips and information that we keep experiencing and people keep sharing with us. We are not quite done with our home study, but when we get farther in we will share more. We’ve learned a lot so far & get excited more and more with each day we get closer to growing our family through adoption. It’s funny how in life when we go through experiences we become advocates for things we become so passionate about… funny how life does that. Thank you guys so much for being here on our adoption journey with us & for stopping by the blog daily to see what we are up to…. we love you all! xx
Off topic comment, Liz, but thought you should know that Michaels is still selling “The Found Cottage” trays in stacks. As of today, January 24. Have a good day.
Liz, I felt the urge to message you on IG to ask about the adoption process because it had been awhile, and then thought better of it and stopped off here first. I know you must get overwhelmed with messages over there, and sure enough, there was an update. As an adoptee, please know I am continually praying for you and your future son or daughter. I believe whole heartedly my parents saved my life when they adopted me. I don’t take a minute for granted. You little one will be so blessed ❤️ Hugs
This is wonderful and I’m sure it will help a lot of other people going through this process. God bless your journey may it be short and sweet.
Have you looked into embryo adoption I saw a wonderful story about someone who did.
I’m sure you did too but I had never heard of it. The embryo was twenty four and half years old and the mother to receive it was twenty five at the time so amazing and the baby girl was beautiful.
I’m not sure what kind of adoption you’re considering, but as the adopted mom of a little girl born in China, my thoughts have changed on closed vs. open adoption. Our daughter is nine and is beginning to have questions I cannot possibly answer. It’s heartbreaking. I know that God made us a family and that we will work though it. And I would never discourage anyone from adopting from China, or any other international country. Just know that not having answers adds another dimension to the trauma. So happy for you and Jose! God bless you!
Hi Liz, I just began following your blog and though I, myself, have not adopted, a friend of our daughter’s went through the process in California of fostering to adopt. Her plan was to take in only babies which she did. Within one year she was contacted about a newborn…. that came with a 7 year old brother. She prayed hard and decided God was leading her in that direction and she fostered both of them. As a single young woman this was a challenge but she fell in love with both boys. And then God challenged her further when the birth mother became pregnant again within a year and a half. She could not separate the little family and took in that baby girl as well.
She has now adopted all three and within 2 years became a little family of 4. I’m sure it is not without challenges but I don’t think she would have it any other way. God can lead you in amazing directions if you keep your hearts and minds open! Blessings to you and Jose on your journey!
God bless you both on your journey to adoption!
Thank you for shedding a positive light on adoption. There’s so many different ways adoptions happen. So much fear that surrounds it, so taking the stigma out of it helps others embrace it. Adoption/fostering is supported and encouraged in our church. No not everyone should do it, but everyone should support it in some way…donate, pray, babysit, make a meal for a family.
I am a birth mother. I placed my sweet girl over 25 years ago. The hardest thing I ever did, but the most beautiful. I had amazing support from my parents and sisters, good counseling, and faith in God. I am married (almost 22 yrs) and have 3 beautiful kids. My daughter is very much a part of our lives. She now lives locally and is just part of the family. We planned a very limited open adoption through the agency, but things naturally develoved and her adoptive parents were very respectful and honest, as was I and we grew more comfortable spending time together. Also, my best friend/cousin became pregnant 6 weeks after me. Her family situation was a not as good as mine and she was sure adoption was the best decision, even before I came around to choose adoption too. We were so close and going through such a tough time together helped. We had the crazy idea of finding a family that would take both our babies. We did! Our daughters were born 6 weeks appt and have grown up as sisters, even though they’re cousins. We have all been one big extended family ever since…Our situation is unique indeed and not for everyone. Everyone need to be ok with it. You will be scared or uncomfortable at times, but trust the Lord. He made something beautiful out of a very difficult time in my life. Love on your birth mother if you get the chance. Think of what she immust be feeling. Appreciate her beautiful selfless sacrifice. I know you will….Take pictures together, write letters and from day one if you can, talk about her to your child. I had a friend who was pregnant and placed her baby too in a limited open adoption and the birth parents got scared and didn’t honor their agreement. She was left feeling manipulated, regretful and angry. You must tread lightly but trust the process too and guard your heart, but at the same time open it wide. Always speak the truth in love even when it’s hard. There’s varying degrees of openness and you need to find what’s best for all involved. While having my daughter in my life regularly has been a blessing, it hasn’t always been easy either. It’s been emotionally taxing at times and a struggle when it’s your child, but you’re not raising them, yet you love them and would parent differently, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I couldn’t imagine not knowing her and her family.
I don’t know the details of what type of process your going to adopt through so what I say may or may not apply to your journey directly, but it will to some degree for sure.
Secrets aren’t healthy. Talk about it openly, pictures and letters are good so your baby isn’t left with wondering, but your birth mother needs to be comfortable too. You never know what your situation will be. I pray your journey will be sweet and a blessing to many. So exciting!
…Love and prayers from an avid adoption supporter❤️
I don’t know if this link will work here, but watch this beautiful adoption story. It is so encouraging and similar to my experience in many ways.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fY7TcOQOM5g
I adopted my daughter 31 years ago. I was lucky enough that someone I knew, knew of a young woman who wanted her child to be adopted upon birth. I had to go thru catholic charities which included interview, home visits etc. adopting was the best thing we ever did. She is now a chiropractor, married and has a little boy of her own. The saying we adoptive parents have is “ you didn’t grow under our heart, but in it.” It is s wonderful experience, and I wish you the best. Cheers
We adopted from Kansas. Great laws for adoptive parents. Worth looking into out-of-state adoptions. My son is proud of being adopted (he’s always known his story) and has had absolutely no issues. Super cool kid. This is all part of your journey to the child(ren) you’re meant to have. Keep the faith!
We adopted from Kansas. Great laws for adoptive parents. Worth looking into out-of-state adoptions. My son is proud of being adopted (he’s always known his story) and has had absolutely no issues. Super cool kid. This is all part of your journey to the child(ren) you’re meant to have. Keep the faith!
Oops! This posted twice with my other email. Weird. Anyhoo, good luck!
Blessings from SC! What a beautiful journey you are on.
We struggled with infertility for many years and finally gave birth to a beautiful baby boy a few months ago. God bless you and your husband and your family little family to come ❤️
I’m so interested in your journey. You and Jose have longed for a baby a long time. Remember that any situation in which adoption is necessary involves some sort of trauma ( whether it be the trauma of a biological mother giving away her baby or substance abuse or domestic violence or any number of other issues) . Trauma can transfer to a child even in the womb, so be prepared for trauma to manifest itself in your baby, even if adopted at birth. Begin to find local trauma informed resources in your community to support your journey. Also remember that even though adoption is a wonderful thing, it is also the death of something. It is the death of that child being connected to his biological family, which is one of the most powerful human connections. Adopt, and then live out the adoption with sensitivity and love, which I know you will!